My Bleeding Heart
by DramioneEverlasting
Summary: Please read and try review... Story about Hermione and her 7th year. Her feelings and her heartbreak. How friends will go that extra mile to keep you happy...  DM/HG
1. Prologue

Author's note: Hi! This is my first story. I really hope that you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: All rights belong to their original owners. I'm just writing this for fun and I don't make money out of this!

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><p><strong>My bleeding heart<strong>

As I walk down the deserted corridor, I feel as though I am on stage. Walking out in shame for I could not hold your affections.

So you chose her. I wish I could say that I did not hurt, but that would be a lie. My bleeding heart is proof of my grief. You proved to me in that very moment that you had no heart. It seemed much easier for you but I'd rather have a bleeding and bruised heart than no heart at all.

You have no heart. In place of your heart you have a black void. You think only of yourself, selfish and arrogant, after all you care for nothing.

Your money, fame and most importantly your looks paved your way to fortune. One could describe you as evil another could say that you looked like an angel. But how could that be? For you have no heart, how absurd for an angel to have no heart?

But now, the end of the performance, I cannot be on the stage for the winner gets the prize. The loser should not and must not take away the spotlight.

In this letter, I suppose you could call it such, I shall describe my experience and most importantly my pain.

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><p>This is the first part to my story. I hope that you like it if you don't please tell me so that I don't carry on writing something that people won't read.<p>

DramioneEverlasting


	2. The heart doesn't choose it simply feels

Author's note: Hi! This is my first story. I really hope that you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: All rights belong to their original owners. I'm just writing this for fun and I don't make money out of this!

**My Bleeding Heart**

**The heart does not choose, it simply feels.**

September

There he stood, tall and proud, I admired him from afar. I always had a sort of obsession with him. His blond hair and cool, gray eyes always made me feel inferior. How could someone like me compare?

"Ginny, do you think that …. Never mind," I trailed off.

She gave me a strange look and said, "Mione, what's going on? You haven't been acting like your normal self since we've been back."

"It's nothing!" I exclaimed. I feared that she'd seen through my mask.

"Oh Mione!" she cried, "When will you ever learn that you can't hide from friends! Just tell me already I can see that something's bothering you!"

"Gin, if you liked someone, hypothetically and you knew that the boys and I would not approve what would you do?"

"The heart doesn't choose it simply feels! Silly! I would support you no matter what!" She smiled and picked up her bag. "I got to go! See you at lunch!"

I stood next to Harry and stared into space.

Then a hand was clicking in front of my face.

"What's with you? You've been acting all weird this week!" Harry said looking rather worried.

"Sorry! I'm just thinking," I said with a smile.

"Yeah, well that's all you do Granger! When was the last time you actually went out?" Malfoy said with a mocking look on his face.

"Why don't you shove off! Ferret face, do you take childish pleasure from eavesdropping?" Harry retorted.

"It's not my problem that you speak so loudly that I can hear from all the way here!"

"Malfoy, you're standing on the other side of the door, Harry wasn't speaking so loudly for you to hear unless you were concentrating on listening," I said quietly but projected it so that he would hear.

"What's wrong Granger? Why so quiet?" he replied in an almost catlike way.

I looked away; I just didn't have the energy or strength to argue.

"Cat got your tongue," Parkinson said with her annoyingly high-pitched voice.

Yes, today was the day that I felt that what they say is true, the heart doesn't choose it simply feels.

**Lunch**

How could I like someone like him? Why did I feel that I wasn't good enough? It wasn't fair that this was my fate. I wanted to be like Ginny who liked Harry or hell even Lavender would be okay, at least it was Ron. But no, it seemed that fate decided that I would like the enemy. Oh dear Merlin!

"Hey Hermione! Come sit here!" Ginny said with a large smile, "So how were your lessons?"

"They were good."

"So what were you saying this…"

"Hey Gin! How was class?" Harry asked while sitting down

I had never felt so grateful to him. After a while they were all talking and for the first time I felt like I was looking in from the outside. Not wanting to intrude I left. I hadn't eaten much. It didn't surprise me, especially after the summer.

I was walking and admiring the lake from where I was standing.

"Granger!" someone shouted.

Breaking out of my daydream, I looked to see who it was.

I decided to ignore the person so I carried on walking.

He followed me and grabbed my wrist.

"Don't you dare walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" Malfoy shouted.

A tear dripped out from the corner of my eye. Even now I cannot tell you why a single tear fell from my eye.

He was shocked.

"Granger…"

DramioneEverlasting


	3. Each star in the sky, a hurt felt

Author's note: Enjoy! Hope that i'll update soon!

Disclaimer: The plot is mine but everything else belongs to their respective owners.

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><p><strong>My bleeding heart<strong>

**Each star in the sky is like each pain that I have experienced**

"Granger… What's going on? Can't take a comment from another. Who's made you cry 'cause I want to send them a gift for their deed," he said mockingly with a smirk plastered on his face.

Strange even now I still have feelings for him, even when he sends biting remarks my way.

"Listen, I really don't want to argue with you. I don't have enough time and it's not like I get paid each time you insult me! So just leave me alone," I replied.

I walked away without glancing back. Thankfully he didn't follow.

For a while I walked aimlessly until I reached the Room of Requirements. I needed somewhere to think over everything that happened, what better place then here.

The room changed into a black and white room. It seemed to describe how I felt, this is what I wanted, a black and white world. A world where there wouldn't be so many confusing things, no gray areas at all.

Oddly enough there was a photo album on the coffee table by the fire. I sat down on a cushion and flipped through it.

They were all photos of me and my life.

_*Flashback*_

"Oh my gosh! You look so… um… Honey you've let yourself go," my best friend said, shaking her head. "It's only been what? Five years?" Rebecca, nicknamed Becky since we became friends, stood there staring at me in disbelief.

If I hadn't come to Hogwarts, she and I would probably be the most popular girls at Stanborough Secondary School. We were both popular and pretty back in primary school but I guess she was right I had let myself go. I wanted to be the smartest but I failed to remember to be good to myself on the outside.

"We are going to change your entire wardrobe; I refuse to allow you to continue this… this nonsense dressing."

"Oh good you're here Rebecca, maybe you can talk some sense into her. I've been dying to get her to wear some fashionable dresses and skirts and such things," my mom said looking at Becky fondly.

"Well let's get started, firstly this hair needs to be under your control not the other way round. We'll go to the stores tomorrow for clothes and accessories. We'll also need to…" she trailed off. "Are you okay? I'm sorry if it seems that I come in here all guns blazing and taking over your life. It's just… Kyle's back in town and you guys would've made a great couple and I want you to be happy,"

"Thanks!"

**A couple of weeks into the summer**

"I really like you Mione but I just don't feel that way about you… I like Rebecca," he looked at me sadly and seemed to want to run away.

I refused to cry, "That's great! I'm happy for you!" I plastered a smile on my face. I knew that my smile probably looked fake, but how could I truly be happy when the boy that had just confessed that he liked my childhood friend, was the boy that I had had a crush on since we were little.

Afterwards my next door neighbor told me that I was ugly and simply a know-it-all. Perhaps her timing was really good because for the first time I felt hurt. I felt the pain stab into my heart, not even Malfoy had managed to really do that. Not since second year at least.

Everything around me seemed to go wrong. My piano didn't sound as great as it once had. Books held little meaning to me. I didn't want to see my friends.

I stopped eating and I really let myself go this time.

Becky found out that I was slowly turning anorexic and told my mom. Things just sunk to the bottom with my parents after that.

*_End of Flashback_*

Tears had formed; I was trying my hardest to not let them fall. But, alas, it was no use. They fell anyway.

I suddenly understood what the quote, from a book that I had read, meant. Each star in the sky is like each pain that I have experienced. That is how I felt right at this moment. I felt that the stars represented the sorrows and hurts that happened over the years. I will never be able to pinpoint the exact numbers of the agonies that I have felt, just like I will never be able to count the stars in the sky.

I walked back to the common room.

"Where were you!" Ron demanded.

"Out," I said bleakly.

"Do you know how worried Harry and I were? How about a note the next time you decide to disappear?" he said furiously.

"I just needed to think, it's been…" I was cut off at this stage by a piercing scream filled the air.

Everyone was on full battle-mode. Wands out, eyes searching.

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><p>Review, subscribe, favourite, anything! I need to know what you think of the story!<p>

Thanks to those who have already done so!

_DramioneEverlasting_


	4. Black is my world Black is my life

Author's note: I had a bit of a blank so this is late… Sorry… Don't hate me…

Disclaimer: It's depressing already that I didn't come up with this, do you have to rub it in by asking me to tell you that this world of wizards and witches BELONG to J.K. Rowling. Thank you very much!

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><p><strong>My Bleeding Heart<strong>

**Black is my world. Black is my life.**

We all treaded carefully and walked slowly as if someone would hear us if we walked too fast. Quietly we tiptoed out as if the world would break out from under us. What we saw was the exact reason why we there was a war. Why so many died.

On the wall were pictures of all the muggleborns in Hogwarts, on top were the words: Don't think that it's over yet, MUDBLOODS.

After a few moments of shock, everyone began muttering.

"Hey look! What's that?" one of the Creevy brothers shouted.

The photos flickered, and then the photos changed. They became photos of the family of the muggleborn. Each face was circled expect my parents' faces which were crossed out.

"NO! NO! It's just a joke right? Just a stupid joke that some sick person has come up with, right? Harry?" uncertainty laced my voice. I was shaking. Tears had formed yet again, this couldn't be happening today. It had to be a bad dream.

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, I was just about to inform you that the entire house was burning," Headmistress McGonagall said gravely.

Everyone looked at me with pity in their eyes. Perhaps it was because I had had too much of pity filling people's eyes while staring at me, that I ran and ran.

I found myself at the top of the Astronomy Tower. The sky was black. It looked as if someone had painted it, as if someone knew how I felt and did it for me.

My world was now black. The white had officially left. My last happiness had died with the news of the death of my parents.

What was there left for me? What could I do? Who was there to pick me up again?

The people, who used to be there, were now dead.

My life was now stained black. No one would be able to get me back to the way I was. Or so I thought.

"Funny… How life can just end?" he snapped his fingers then looked at me through his stray hair covering his eyes.

"Not really… I've kind of got used to it," I said shortly. I didn't really want to talk to the blonde. What I needed was to be alone.

"Is that how you really feel?"

I looked at him confused.

"You said you wanted to be alone. But aren't you already alone." He stared out. "None of your friends are here, are they?"

"They know I need time, not somebody to pester me about how I feel."

"Come on, give me a chance," he smiled, a real smile.

I looked at him sideways. I realized that I didn't know the person next to me. There was a rather comfortable silence that filled the room.

"I know what it feels like, one minute they're still there in the next they're gone. All I wish is that I had just one more minute to be able to apologize," Malfoy said this sadly.

"Why?" What he said had intrigued me. I didn't know why but I felt sorry for the boy… no… man leaning against the wall.

"Some things are better left unsaid."

_One month and 2 weeks later_

I don't know why but I keep coming back to talk to him. It's so weird despite the fact that the boys and Ginny hate him I couldn't help but feel drawn to him.

Every week we would meet up at least twice sometimes every day, we talked about our lives, how we felt, the weather; basically we talked about anything and everything. Perhaps that's when I felt something other than hate for Draco.

He was vulnerable and scared. He didn't have a choice unlike many on our side. I began to understand him better and with that understanding of him I began to fall for my childhood bully. Ironic isn't it? The person I had hated more than Voldemort was now the person I couldn't imagine my life without. To him these conversations were just something to pass the time. For me they were so much more. I wouldn't say that I loved him at this point but I was quite close.

He cleared his throat while coming into the room, "What are you thinking about?"

"Who said I was thinking?" I said teasingly.

"I know when you're thinking, you get a distant look on your face. Your eyes get all unfocused. And you start to drool!" By the time he had said that last part he was roaring with laughter.

"Oh very funny!" I giggled, "But you should see your face when you think, you frown and look all upset. At least I look happy."

We carried on speaking until dinner time.

"I better get going before the boys start to worry. You should to go too. Zabini will be looking for you."

I turned to leave when he grabbed my wrist.

"Wait. I've been meaning to ask; have you got a date for the Masquerade Ball?" he asked in a soft voice.

"No, no one's asked me."

"Would you mind going with me then?"

I bit my lip and looked down. "Um… I wouldn't mind at all," I replied with a smile and looked up at him.

He let go of my wrist, "I guess I'll see you then."

"Yes, bye!"

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><p>That was a nice ending to her black world that now appears to be brighter. Please review, mark as favorite, subscribe, anything! *puppy eyes*<p>

Thanks! :P

_DramioneEverlasting _


	5. How can we be lovers?

Author's note: Almost the same but slightly altered in the end and the changes will be more apparent in the next chapters.

Disclaimer: The World of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

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><p><strong>My Bleeding Heart<strong>

**How can we be lovers if we can't be friends? – Michael Bolton**

_A week before the Masquerade Ball_

"Um… Ginny… Um.. Do you think you could help me find… a dress?" I said quietly.

She looked confused, "Why?"

"For the Masquerade Ball, silly!" I said with more confidence this time.

"You have a date?" I nodded in response. "You never told me anything! Tell all now!" she demanded.

"Um… it's kind of hard to explain. He doesn't want people to know. And… um… well I kind of want it to be a mystery," I informed her secretly.

"No fair…" She pouted.

"So you'll help me?"

"Well… duh… You're like my BFF! I would do anything for you!" she shouted.

"Can we go this weekend?"

"Yes! We will find the perfect dress! Oh and we will do your hair and everything!" She looked so excited.

"It's a date!"

"Wouldn't Mystery Man be jealous?" she said jokingly.

"Nah… He doesn't mind sharing as long as it's not too long." I struggled to keep a straight face. We looked at each other and both burst into laughter.

We laughed until we were both crying. It felt so good to laugh so much again.

_Hogsmeade Weekend_

"Hey Ginny!"

"Hola 'Mione! Are you ready?" She looked at me gleefully.

I nodded, breathing deeply.

We were off to find the perfect dress.

_6 hours later_

"It's hopeless! Ginny, we've been here for six hours and we've made no progress at all! I should've known that it was too good to be true," I moaned.

"Stop moaning! You're giving me a headache."

The dressmaker walked our way, holding what appeared to be a couple of dresses. "May I interest you in looking at these dresses? They are generally kept at the back for young ladies looking for their dream dresses," she said.

The dresses were suspended in midair. I walked around each one, searching for the one that I had so desperately looked for.

"I found it! I found it!" Ginny exclaimed. She looked so excited. In her hands was a forest green dress with silver patterns detailed on the dress.

The dress was beautiful. It looked so soft and smooth. It flowed down which would give the wearer a figure and then went out like a proper ball gown.

"It's gorgeous! I just don't think that… that it'll fit me," I said in a small voice.

"Nonsense! You have such a petite and small frame. I doubt that any dress wouldn't fit you," the lady said with a smile on her face.

I tried the dress on and it was everything I wanted and everything I needed.

"It took us 6 hours to find a dress. How long is it going to take to find accessories to go with it?" Ginny said.

"I've already got the jewellery to go with it! We just need a mask and some shoes!" I said with enthusiasm.

"Oh goody! At least we'll be back before dinner starts."

After looking at different stores, I found a mask. It was black and silver with feathers and fanlike things on it. It was perfect and would go well with my dress. Although it had been too extravagant for my usual taste, I had decided that no one would recognize me while I had my mask on. Shoes were slightly easier. We found a pair of simple silver heels to match both the dress and the mask.

We both walked up to the castle feeling much happier.

_Dinner in the Great Hall_

All around us were people buzzing about the upcoming Ball. I looked around the hall looking for the familiar platinum blonde hair. Instead of seeing the back of the blonde headed, I came face-to-face with the man. I smiled. He smiled back at me. But all too soon the spell was broken. Guess who broke it?

Obviously it was Ron. He just can't help himself.

"Hermione? Uh… I was wondering… if uh… you would… um… I mean if you could be so kind as to accompany me to the uh… ball?" he said in a small voice.

For a moment I was stunned. Then I felt as if I had been pulled back into time. Back to fourth year, where I was last resort. I couldn't help but feel hurt. Yet again, I was last resort when Ron couldn't find a date.

I don't know why I felt so hurt. But I got up and ran. I couldn't stay in the same room as him. It felt as if he expected me to go with him. As if I would definitely be free, waiting for him to ask me. Oh! I forgot, who could possibly ask me! I'm just a bookworm, a know-it-all, somebody that nobody notices.

I stomped up the stairs. I was angry at Ronald for spoiling my day. I had found my dress and I was over the moon. Then he just had to open his big mouth.

I sat on the windowsill looking out. It was beautiful at night. The stars in the sky. The moonlight reflecting on the surface of the Lake. Magnificent.

There was a knock at my door. "Hermione?" a voice said uncertainly.

"Yes? Who is it?" I asked.

"It's me, Ginny."

"Come in."

She walked in. She studied my face. "Are you okay? You know how Ron is. He's an insensitive git."

I nodded slowly, still looking out my window. "You know I never asked but who are you going with to the Ball?"

"No one… I'm not going," she said sadly.

I whipped my head around. "What do you mean? Aren't you going with Harry?"

She shook her head, tears running down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. I've been so wrapped up in my own problems that I haven't been noticing yours." I put my arms around her while she cried.

"Shh… everything's going to be just fine… you'll see… it might be for the best… or not…"

We stood there in absolute silent save for Ginny's occasional sniffing.

_The next day_

The boys stood there waiting for me. We walked in silence down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

I turned around and said, "I'm sitting with Ginny today. Don't bother looking for me."

I needed time and space. Who was I kidding? I needed Draco. The power couple of the year was officially no more. It was all over the school that Harry was with someone else now. And Ron? Well Ron was just going to have to stay away from me for a while. Looking back, I probably wasn't in my right mind. None of the reasons listed above were logical. Or at least that how I feel now.

If only I hadn't sat with Ginny or gone looking for Draco. Everything would've been different I wouldn't be here sitting with a hand clutched at my heart, wondering how I could rip out the feeling in my chest.

I walked to the library and sat down reading a book. I had hoped that Draco would be here. He wasn't in the Astronomy Tower, Owlery or by the Lake so I had thought that perhaps he'd be here.

I read for a long time until someone's hands covered my eyes. I would know those hands anywhere. Cool to touch but soft not hard as I was expecting.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with a giggle.

"Guess who first?" Mystery Man said.

"Draco. Come on," I gently whispered.

"How'd you know it was me?" he whispered in my ear while removing his hands.

I looked at him, "It's not that hard."

"I heard about Weaseltte. I'm sorry. How is she?"

"She's…She's doing okay I guess considering the circumstances," I nodded in an unconvincing way, "I just... I don't understand how this happened. I mean, everything was fine as far as I'm concerned."

He held me for a while rocking back and forwards. I always felt so safe with him.

_The Ball_

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I said nervously.

Ginny put on my last two accessories, the mask and small tiara.

Yes, the image before was nothing like the usual. This girl before was confident, beautiful, well-dressed and had a sense of dignity and aristocracy about her.

"Thank you so much Gin! I couldn't have down this without you," I said gratefully.

"Okay stop now or we'll both end up in tears. You better go or Mystery Man won't be happy."

She pushed me towards the door then pulled me into a hug the next second.

"Here," she handed me a black cloak that would hide my dress and my face if I had the hood up, "I want them all to be shocked when they first see you!" She wiped the tears from her eyes.

This was it for me. I was finally going to spread my wings, allow my flower to bloom or whatever it is that they say.

For the first time in a long time I felt truly beautiful and the man, wearing black dress robes with a black mask with hints of green and silver patterns, waiting by the staircase made sure that I knew it.

No one had seen me apart from Ginny. I had been determined that no one would find out who I was until the clock stroked twelve. Oh! I almost forgot Draco would obviously know me but he was going to call me something else till then.

Yes, that night was no doubt both magical and beautiful.

As I walked down the stairs with a black cloak with glitter, an air of mystery surrounded me. Everyone's eyes were upon the two of us.

We walked out to the garden just before midnight it was, to this day, the most romantic thing ever. Candles floating in the air and soft music in the background, it was the perfect setting.

We gently danced; my head on his shoulder. Yes, we fit like a glove. Like a lock and its key.

Very gently my head lifted and we stared into each others' eyes. Like a movie in slow motion our heads leaned in, our lips touched softly, tenderly.

Midnight. Our masks were magicked to come off at exactly midnight.

Like Cinderella I fled. What would my friends say if they found out? How would the school react? Could we actually be a couple after everything we had done to each other?

I sat in my bed and thought about a song that my mom had played when I was younger. My mom was a fan of Michael Bolton and my favourite song was always 'How can we be lovers if we can't be friends?' Oddly enough, this song described my exact question. We could never stand each other, not until my parents' death.

Questions filled my head. What if he had been in on it to? How could I have trusted him? I mean he was a known Death Eater and his father was described as the right-hand-man of Voldemort.

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><p>Yes, this was the first night I doubted him. I was scared and I didn't know what to do.<p>

I am re-writing the story a bit because I hate what I did to it. I had imagined the story way different and I ruined it by writing a load of nonsense. Hermione is a strong girl despite everything and I made her out to be a complete damsel in distress and went over the top with it… so sorry… but I refuse to have Hermione be a ragdoll.

_DramioneEverlasting_


	6. Anyone but me

Author's Note: The beginning of the end! Well not really but i've changed a few things hope that you enjoy my new idea cause i really would like some form of support whether it's a review or a favourite or a subscription...

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their respective owners.

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><p><strong>My Bleeding Heart<strong>

**Anyone but me…**

_Hermione's POV_

I couldn't handle what I had done. I had kissed the enemy, allowed the enemy to comfort me. This was the ultimate act of betrayal. What was I going to do? What would they say?

Despite it all I still went to see Draco every day. We both pretended that the kiss hadn't happened.

Overtime I stopped eating because my stomach couldn't hold it. Stopped sleeping because of the dreams that plagued me. I was ever so slowly dying right under the noses of my friends'. Funny how I had survived a war yet I couldn't live with myself for the honest mistake I had made.

I failed to see my friends' worried glances. I failed to hear Draco's concerns about me. My teachers had instantly noticed my peculiar behaviour and once or twice voiced their opinions.

But I carried on until I couldn't anymore.

I collapsed in the corridor. I was lucky that Ginny had decided to take the same route as I. if she hadn't I shudder to think what could have and should have happened.

_Harry's POV_

Why would she do this? If Ginny hadn't found her… I don't understand. She was happy right? If she had a problem she would have come to me. I know she would have. So that leaves one other thing. She must have been cursed of something. I refuse to believe that she would harm herself purposely. She was always smart she wouldn't have resorted to such extreme measures. Like starving herself to the point of almost death or depriving herself sleep to the point where she looked like death.

I turned the corner and was about to enter the Hospital Wing when I noticed that someone else was there already.

Malfoy? Malfoy! He must have done this. Or he had something to do with this. Come to think out it, he was staring at Hermione during Potions. He was probably planning something or scheming.

"Oi! Malfoy, get your slimy hands off her!"

"What do you want Potter?" he replied in a calm and dead voice.

"Uh… What… Why are you here?" I spluttered. I didn't understand. He held Hermione's hand as if… As if he cared or something. I was confused.

"I was just leaving." He turned to leave.

"Wait. You didn't answer my question."

He turned very slowly and walked towards me, "You saw me at the Ball right?" I nodded my affirmative. "Did you see the girl on my arm?" I was confused and then I understood.

"It was Hermione. The girl in the emerald dress was Hermione. But why…" I trailed off.

He seemed to understand. "We've been meeting in secret. I asked her to accompany me. But she's been out of it lately" He looked saddened.

"Did she seem odd? Like out of the ordinary," I asked still staring at him curiously. I didn't trust him but if what he said was true then he had to know something.

He hesitated before saying, "After we kissed, she fled. But afterwards we still met up. You've seen her though right? Barely eating and the bags under her eyes are really standing out."

I stared at the ceiling, thinking hard. "Do you…" I turned to ask him but found myself alone.

I sat next to Hermione and began thinking. So Hermione was secretly dating Malfoy and something else. I began to think about this term. She had closed up. She didn't talk much to us. She didn't visit the Weasley's this summer which was unusual.

There were days that she seemed normal but then there were days where she was different. More reserved and collected.

I should have paid more attention, especially when her parents died. I should have been where Malfoy was. Wherever that may be. Hermione…

"What are you still doing here! Out! You should be at dinner. You may visit Miss Granger later tomorrow," Madame Pomfrey said sternly.

"Thank you," I mumbled. To be honest I didn't want to leave Hermione. I guess I felt guilty that I hadn't been there but now I was. But I suppose it's too little too late.

She had always been there for me and I wasn't there when she needed me in turn. What kind of friend am I? How can I claim to be like her brother when I didn't even notice the changes in her, didn't even notice that she had stopped hanging out with me? I just assumed that she was in the library.

I had been sitting in my dorm for two hours. I just sat there and stared. Finally, I decided to visit Hermione's dorm. There had to be some clue in her room that would give away something, anything. I guess I was growing desperate. I wanted something tangible, a reason as to why she did this. I needed to know that there was another person to blame.

Anyone but me…

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><p>Thanks for reading! Hope that you enjoyed it!<p>

_DramioneEverlasting_


	7. Reading of Her Diary

Author's Note: I decided that I'm going to write short chapters that make sense and it means that there will be faster updates! Thanks to everybody that subscribed, favourited or reviewed my story!

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their respective owners. Like J.K. Rowling.

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><p><strong>My Bleeding Heart <strong>

**Reading of Her diary**

Harry's POV

I went through her stuff. Yes, it was wrong but I needed this. She would understand. Or at least that it was what I told myself.

It took time to unlock her trunk. She was after all the smartest witch of our age. After a couple of hours I managed to unlock it. I suppose I should count myself lucky that the girls in our year all had their own dorms.

I opened it. Gently lifting the lid. Everything was neat in here. Not a thing was out of place. I looked skimmed through the books. Nothing of important until the bottom of her trunk. There was a diary looking book. It was green and had black patterns. It reminded me of her dress. Underneath her diary or journal was another book. _Losing yourself: The Split _it read. I found the book rather odd. At first glance it was silver, and then on closer inspection it was a mirror. Except the funny part was that when I looked at myself in it, I saw someone I didn't recognize. A pale boy that looked like me but wasn't me.

I sat Hermione's bed and read her diary. The most sacred item a girl could possess, but this was the only way I knew how to help. I needed to understand.

The first three-quarters of the diary was normal. The usual _Dear Diary blah blah blah… _Nothing to indicate that something was wrong.

I then began to notice that her handwriting changed. It was more slanted and forceful or lighter, almost like she couldn't write or she was upset or something. Her wording changed it was angry at times and sad at other times. The last written page was dated a day before the Ball.

_Dear Diary_

_I don't know what to do. She's taking over. I'm not strong enough. Too much has happened. I won't stand much longer. I fear this may be the last time that I write. I don't know her plans. I do know that her plans will be starting soon. Draco was so helpful. He didn't know that he was actually helping me survive. I was able to think clearly around him. I was in control. I wish that I could tell someone but she's always watching. Even when she does nothing I can feel her presence in the back of my mind. _

_I'm scared._

_I wish that I was as strong as Harry or as brave as Neville. Harry…. My best friend, my brother and protector, I guess this was the one thing you couldn't save me from. My own mind that is threatening to shut down. My other self that wants to shield me the only way she knows how. I don't blame her. I'm weak. I couldn't accept that the boy I liked didn't feel the same. My best girl friend I ignored because of my jealousy. My other best girl friend needs my help, but I can't even help myself, how am I supposed to help her? _

_My parents? They're dead because I couldn't keep them safe. In a way I am a failure. _

_I failed everyone. Harry, Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys, my family, my muggle friends…. Most importantly I failed myself… _

Here it ended. There were dried tears on the page. There was a single drop of tear on the page. I noticed that I had cried. I hadn't known that she felt this way. But this 'she' was worrisome. Had 'Mione lost it? Or was there a Split in her soul?

I decided that I would do some research tomorrow. After all holidays had started. I had more than enough time to do the legwork. I wouldn't go to the Burrow. Yes, tomorrow I would write to the Weasley's to say that I was sorry that I wouldn't be able to come. They would understand. I needed to stay with Hermione and things would be awkward between Ginny and I.

I hadn't felt the same when the War was over. I loved her but she would never understand. She deserved someone whole. I had lied. To protect her from me.

"Focus," I muttered. I couldn't afford to lose sight of the real target.

I got up and cleared everything. I put everything back where it belonged except her diary and the book. Those I put in my pouch. I would need them if I needed to check stuff. I left her room, closing her door behind me.

It was two o'clock. I went back to my dorm and collapsed on my bed.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed it!<p>

_DramioneEverlasting_


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